"Bad advice" or A brief handbook to educate owners

Let me introduce myself, I’m a pug.

And my name is …, however, it’s better to stay incognito, otherwise the hostess will read it.
I live in a family not alone, there are several of us. After all, as you know, pugs tend to accumulate in the house.
In general, we live happily, and all thanks to the fact that we have properly educated our mistress.
So, tips for kids and more …

Today you were chosen from numerous brothers and sisters and taken to a new house. So, in whatever you were taken: in carrying, in your arms – pretend to be good. You will still have time to show your character.

Do not hesitate, they already love you, they just don’t know yet how to treat you properly. This is where my advice comes in handy:

If on the first night you have not yet been taken to bed, but attached, say, in the corridor, albeit in a pretty pretty house, cry, and the louder the better. You can also add drum roll paws on the door.

For a long time the owners will not have enough patience: “You are small, miss your mother, brothers and sisters, and now you are sad and lonely.”

As soon as they got up to you, rejoice with your whole body, as if you had not seen each other for 100 years. Although half an hour ago they were already getting up to you, and another hour ago, and more…

And if the rest of the first night you did not spend in the master’s bed, do not despair. Do the same thing the next night. Nothing, sleep off during the day while the owners at work.
– Does not help?

Well, try again … Your parents are stubborn! My mistress gave up in 2 days. And now I sleep on a master pillow.

So, now we accustom the household to order.

All that lies in reach: socks, cell phone, magazines, shoes, etc. – pull to your place. And even if you were caught at a crime scene, do not rush to repent. Make surprised eyes, even if a piece of a receipt sticks out of your mouth.

Run up and be interested:
– “Oh, and what is so interesting?”

During the change of teeth, do not forget to spoil something from the furniture, for example, the leg of a table or chair, the corner of the chest of drawers … and, best of all, your mother’s favorite shoes.

I guarantee that you will have a bunch of new toys, as well as all kinds of bones, sticks, delicious snacks.

So, now – walks.

If your master or mistress is distracted while walking for conversations with all kinds of friends, or something else … hide! (because they are letting you off the leash?). Sit in the bushes and silently watch how you are feverishly searched. When you see that the owner is about to have a heart attack, you can go out.

Do you think they will punish you? No matter how. You will be caressed, kissed. And henceforth while walking all the attention is only for you, beloved.

Speaking of kisses. If you have an attack of love, and you want to kiss the owner, and he shoves off, they say – “not now.” Double your efforts!

My household already knows – it’s better to put up, otherwise it will be worse. I will lick to death!

Back to the walks.

My mistress knows if there is a thunderstorm, then I need to get out before the rain. It’s not a royal thing to walk on wet grass. And even more so in the puddles. I won’t go to any.

But to wallow in the snow is a nice thing.

We live in a private house, so our snow is clean, not trampled, without salt and all kinds of engine impurities. This is let the mistress walk along the paths, and we (pugs) along the snowdrifts, but in catch-up.

And I don’t need any overalls there. Well, except when the frost was -30 degrees. That’s when I flaunted in overalls. Warmly. But not very convenient.

I even felt sorry for the mistress: it’s until you shove everyone into overalls, and then back. This is a lot of time.

It’s good that our winters are not very cold, not like in the old days (I really didn’t exist then, and my mistress too). Yes, severe frosts are bad.

As, however, an intense heat.

If you want to enjoy the coolness in the heat while lying under the air conditioner in an embrace with your favorite toy, and not on the tile in the bathroom, do this:
– On the street, begin to suffocate, and at home portray a jellyfish thrown from the sea to the shore.

In the worst case scenario, they will put you in a basin of cold water, and some nasty drops will begin to drip onto your tongue. At best, they’ll buy air conditioning the next day.

So, now – Surfing the guests.

There are 2 options: either to go with you, or not to linger. And then I somehow heard the phrase:
– “It was late, spent the night at a party …”

Ha, this is not about mine. My hosts are not staying away. We must be fed and taken to the street.
– “And we, (pugs), miss you when we are alone!” They (the owners, that is) think so. We were not bored. Well let them be tormented by remorse,it`s useful.

That’s thing makes me not very happy:

From time to time our mother (not pug one, of course) begins to “play Dr. Dolittle.” In childhood, it was perhaps not enough! Eyes, ears, a fold over the nose – this is a must-have set, the rest as needed.

It starts with the oldest and until she cures everyone, it will not calm down. Hiding and resisting is useless. I tried it. Back in childhood. Does not help.

It is our owners who think that they educate us, train us. But in fact, they succumb to training no worse than us. Do you remember the moment when you were taught to walk nearby ?! Didn’t the host adjust to your pace of walking? Here it is.

Or eating (a favorite topic). The owners do not even need to be reminded: “They say, it is necessary to share. We are a family”. The reflex of dividing the host piece of cheese or chicken is worked out to be automatic.

But the most “golden” time comes when your owners decide that it would be nice if your beloved dog has offspring. This is where you can show yourself, as they say, in all its glory. From the first day of mating, whether you are pregnant or not (and this is only known to you) you will be worn with you like a “written bag”.

During feeding, when they put a bowl of food in front of you – do not rush to eat. Suddenly they’ll give something tastier. You can poke fun for a day or two. And they will start to persuade you: “Eat for mom, eat for dad” and for your grandmother and grandfather and for all relatives according to your pedigree. It is very entertaining to eat the whole portion served from one hand at a time, reveling in the attention to your person. Especially if the owner is somewhere in a hurry, or the rest of the pack has already eaten and is waiting only for you.

And while you carefully chew each meal, the rest of the pugs go around you in the hope that either the hostess will burst with patience or your appetite will finally disappear and they will get the rest of the feed as an additive. (Ha! Does the pug lose his appetite ?! Have you ever heard that? Well, unless he got sick.)

You can have a fight with other dogs for your own pleasure. Not up to blood, so, more to the mind. Even if you’re wrong, do you think they will punish you? No matter how. You should not be nervous.

Somewhere from half the gestation period, pretend to be a “crystal vase” and refuse to walk up the stairs. You will be carried in your arms back and forth. And what?

Everyone knows that we, pugs, have long lived at the court of the Chinese emperors. We were cherished and cherished, worn on special stretchers. So why be surprised ?!

I wanted to write more about the exhibitions, but I think that’s enough for today. Next time. I was tired of knocking something on the keyboard, folding letters into words. More corn will be. And the hostess is about to return.

On this, let me take my leave.

I would be glad if my tips come in handy.

I wish all dogs a long, well-fed, happy life and … obedient owners!